Posts tagged Adrenal Fatigue
Patience. A virtue, not a talent.

Thirty seconds after the diagnosis, I was already planning my approach on getting better. Live, in the doctor’s office.

“Okay, I got this. I’ll start with nutrition, maybe combined with some physical training too.”

Apparently, I forgot how to use my inside voice — he immediately replied: “yes, food patterns substantially help the recovery of your exhausted organs. But it’s not a good idea to change a lot right now. Not even food habits. You’ll only create more stress for yourself.”

He totally made sense.

I feel pressure with every idea that pops up in my sassy brain. He also must have noticed I wasn’t really considering being passive. So, he gave me some quotes to chew on and launched a small suggestion, knowing I’d pick it up…a scientific book on food and the effects on health: The Food Hourglass. He also added something about “not following this like a mantra”.

Tough challenge when you’re a black & white gal.

And so, it was purchased on Kindle. That same day. Getting some serious tan the following days, while discovering this amazing book — I felt like I was winning in life. But wait.

Shouldn’t I be TKO in bed, not being able to work and feeling sad? Am I really that sick?

And every time I get that invincible feeling again for about ten minutes, the energy drops. Hard. I’m writing this post while thinking how awfully tired I am. A tiredness that feels like I’ve been awake for 24 hours, when it’s only 8pm. I dragged myself upstairs, put music on and started writing.

You know why?

  • Because writing gives me mental energy.
  • Because my highest goal in life is having a positive impact on as many people as possible.
  • Because I have so many thoughts, I need to write them out of my system. In my Day One or in a blog post.
  • Because I love love LOVE to write, since I was a child.
  • Because I think there is a huge need for vulnerability on social media.

You see, I didn’t even try to avoid consecutive use of “because”. Because sometimes, perfection is out of place.

Feeling energized but being overruled by an elevated heart rate, tense jaws and a continuously sour throat, I’m going XOXO on you.

Woman down.

I’ve been in pain for months. Daily stomach and back ache, with a increasing energy deficiency. Two weeks ago, when I couldn’t get out of bed on a Saturday until 2 pm, I realized between some proper cry sessions: it feels like my body is exhausted and sick. Worn out. Kaputt.

I believe energy consists of mental, emotional and physical energy.

I feel like I’m now recovering from some heavy years, emotionally and mentally. Which gives me new energy in a way I haven’t felt since 2010. Yes, that long. But it feels like my body can’t follow my mental pace. I went to doctors, I took meds, I got treated for my back, I took supplements. And it felt like nothing actually worked on a long term. Some meds actually made me sicker. Apparently, this has to do with me being Yin deficient. First time I ever heard of this term, knowing me I’ll be plunging into Oriental medicine soon.

My BFF referred a doctor. Maybe he could help me out with this strange combo of energy loss and digestive problems. Well, he did.

Adrenal fatigue. And a serious case of sick guts. Caused by chronic level of stress. My adrenal glands gave up on me. And my intestines are following the equal path. FML.

I’m still trying to accept what happened and what is still happening. I am relieved. But even more, I feel sad. Really sad. And tired. And vulnerable. And confused. I feel like I tripped and fell, looking around for someone to tell me what to do now. What’s the planning? What should I do first? How should I do things now? Taking care of myself is the advice I’m preparing to receive from 95% of the caring people I have in my life. But how do you do that? How do I know what my body needs in order to get better? And why is it, that even this thought is creating pressure?

I still have real positive energy running through my mental and emotional veins.

I’m not feeling sad for myself. I’m still working, enjoying the sun and functioning at this time. But I have to admit, I received a serious bitch slap from my own body.

In two weeks, I’ll get more result on the intestine issues. Leaky gut or chronic infections, the level of sickness will hopefully be determined by then. Fingers crossed. In the mean time, I’m taking an interesting combo of biological supplements.

I believe in a holistic approach in everything I take on in life.

I believe my cure lies in:

  • creating mental resilience
  • getting physically stronger
  • setting up an adapted nutrition plan

I also believe I will succeed. I will learn. I will get healthy. And wiser :)

But just not yet. Just for now, I’d like to wave my white sassy flag. Is that okay?